There are resources available if your child shows signs of possible developmental delays.
But it’s still scary. In fact, as a parent with a college degree in Elementary Education and Special Education, I’m still scared and don’t always know where to turn for help.
Is My Son Showing Developmental Delays?
I noticed awhile ago that my two-year-old son didn’t seem to be doing the same things at the same times as my friends’ two year olds. He looked just like them but seemed to be less alert and less responsive. He didn’t pay attention like the other babies and sometimes he almost seemed to be sleeping with his eyes open. A lot of the time, he slept and remained very passive, and mostly just sat and stared. When he was very little, my friends told me they were jealous because he was so quiet and calm while their babies demanded attention and seemed to need constant input and supervision. My friends’ babies were exploring and exhausting energy, things expected during usual child development. My baby mostly sat quietly in one place and stared.
At his 18-month checkup, the doctor remarked that he is unusually quiet and passive. He rarely fussed, he never seemed to get bored, and for the most part he sat and stared. The older he became, the difference between what he could do and what my friends’ babies could do continued to grow. I took him back to the doctor, and the doctor agreed to run some diagnostic tests. No specific diagnosis was found. However, the general lag in reaching common developmental milestones and skills compared to my friends’ babies was very apparent.
Lost in Space Despite My Education
As a single mom I didn’t know where to turn. I didn’t know what to do. I was afraid and frustrated at the same time. My doctor gave me a choice: either submit my son to further diagnostic testing or get him enrolled in an early childhood stimulation program. The doctor suggested that I contact my local school district.
My first phone call to the school district was to make an appointment for my son to be evaluated. I cried as I made that appointment but my doctor told me loud and clear that the sooner I get my child enrolled in a child stimulation program the better off he would be. I took a deep breath, toughened up to control my parent panic, and took my son to the local elementary school where he was evaluated by a psychologist and an early childhood education expert. The results of the evaluation made him eligible for the early childhood stimulation program in the school district preschool.
Finding Balance Through Support Groups for Moms
I met other moms struggling with the same fears. Some of their children had been diagnosed with specific developmental delays or disabilities: Down’s Syndrome, Autism, cerebral palsy. Hearing that was scary for me! How must it have been for them!? My son did not receive a specific diagnosis but his developmental delays qualified us to attend a parent/child preschool program where I learned more about “typical development” and the gaps that my son was facing. We worked hard, my son and I! I followed the recommendations for specific activities, tactile/kinesthetic exercises, moving his arms and legs in certain therapeutic ways, and just how to give him overall intentional stimulation. It wasn’t long before my son began crawling and by the end of the school year he was walking!
Don’t Give Up Because of Developmental Delays!
I am writing this while school is closed for the holidays because I want ALL OF YOU to be aware that services are available for your child if you are willing to put in the time and the energy to find them! My son appears to gradually be “catching up” with other children his age, and I am eternally grateful that we are attending an early intervention program. Every child doesn’t necessarily “catch up,” but every child benefits from early intervention programs when developmental levels are in question.
If you have questions about your child’s development please be assertive in finding programs that will help him grow. If nothing is available through the school district then call the park district or the YMCA in the town in which you live. Perhaps you may want to consider calling some preschools in your area to learn about their programs, costs, and benefits. Keep calling until your questions are answered.
Perhaps do a Google search online to find opportunities and services that may be available to your child in your area either through the park district or the school district or other resources you may find.
Whatever you do, DON’T GIVE UP! Remember that YOU are your child’s best advocate and you can have a tremendous impact on the experiences, opportunities, and services he receives and for which he may qualify without additional cost to you (depending on your income, grants that may be available, etc.).
Stay Focused on the Primary Goal
As a parent, your focus should be on your child having the opportunity to benefit from early intervention to impact (and perhaps even minimize) the impact of his current challenges on his long-term development. If you have additional questions about your son’s growth turn to both your child’s doctor and the school district to support you in understanding the challenges he is facing, defining the reasons for these challenges (when possible), and most importantly, working to help him recover or achieve specifically defined skills and continue to experience positive growth.
Remember: Your Role is Dynamic
Take your vitamins and get some rest because you are no longer just your child’s parent. Despite his young age, you are also his ADVOCATE! While your goal is to build a relationship with the professionals who are working with your child and complement the skills he has learned by advocating for new opportunities and experiences, you may also be called upon to advocate for those additional programs, services, and supports that will enrich his education and afford him the maximum opportunity to develop his skills even further. I have walked your journey and probably learned more than I ever wanted to know about advocacy, but I don’t regret a moment of it. I celebrate my son’s growth and the opportunities available to him every day.
