For many of us, Thanksgiving is a genuine joy! However, for way too many of us, Thanksgiving is a setup for unrealistic expectations about being a perfect family! One of the things you want to watch for is that your parenting skills include being honest and not being “too hard” on yourself!
Here’s what I mean:
Thanksgiving marks the beginning of an annual winter holiday season celebrated by happy families who look like the same “fairy tale” families we see on TV and the internet.
On Thanksgiving, we are given a clear picture of how our family should look. Just imagine that family with smiling children sitting quietly at the table while happy aunts and uncles and grandparents and cousins give everyone their love and attention. We see these images on television, in stores, and plastered all over the internet.
What’s the Setup?
If all of those pictures are true then why is Thanksgiving a “setup?” Because it creates a perfect picture of a perfect family that most of us cannot measure up to. It makes us feel like something is wrong with us and our family!
Don’t Fall for It! You Don’t Need to Be a Perfect Family!
This Thanksgiving feel free to give yourselves permission to ignore the message that all families are happy (leading you to wonder if something is wrong with yours). Perfect family? Hah! You are not the only family that is flawed, broken, or flat broke this holiday season. Throw away the unfair demand that “THIS year, our family will be like all those other happy families.”
Stop beating yourselves up. Family’s aren’t always peaceful. Not everyone has enough money. No family is always happy. Nobody can measure up to the “perfect” images we see on television. Those are the very same happy families we think must surely live next door to us because they sure don’t live in our house!
Celebrate whatever “happy” means to your family, in your own way. Stop wishing you had more money to spend so you can buy more presents and more happiness. Every one of us knows that money and presents do not really buy happiness. Then why do we get sucked into believing it at this time of year?
Most importantly, remember that the “best” you can do is just that—the best you can do. Remind yourselves that the “best” you can do is just good enough for now!
Lastly, remember that positive parenting is all about being honest with yourself and your children. The closer you get to being honest without being hurtful or “getting even,” the closer you get to being a more effective parent.
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